Steveland Cleamer

Yesterday was the day my roommate and best friend left to move her stuff across the state. I barely held it together until she left. I didn't even make it back in the apartment after she left before I started crying. I started and just couldn't stop. I tried setting up my computer and upgrading it. It wasn't until my boyfriend took me to Fredmeyer's for Drain-o and to look at computer parts that I finally managed to stop crying. And I'm crying again right now.

Yesterday, I was just completely out of it all day. I couldn't function. I couldn't stomach food. I was just incredibly messed up. Caffeine, sleep deprivation and too much sugar seriously didn't improve the situation.

She left a lot of her treats and things behind which I've been systematically eating. I feel bad eating them and so fast, but I just really want them gone. First so they don't go bad and second that they'll just keep reminding me that she's gone. I'll see her again, but it's just not the same.

I went in her bedroom last night...It just looks so depressing. Small bits of trash everywhere and a few little things she didn't take with her. I almost broke down again last night, but managed to hold it together.

She's the only person I've every really considered to be my best friend. I've known her almost 6 years now. Every other friend I've ever had since my first friend when I was a kid hasn't lasted more that 2-3 at the most. I've just lost touch with them over time. I have a few friends. But none close, location-wise and emotionally. So this is killing me a bit. But I'll get over it, maybe.

She'll get internet and I'll be getting my phone soon. We'll have webcam movie watching days, rp days and sewing days. I'll be fine.


It really doesn't help that I've been incredibly stressed over work. We have a new manager with no current sewing experience. I'm worried about keeping my job. If I'll ever get promoted. If I'll get enough hours. Work has just been thrown through a loop, since the new manager knows nothing about the hours people need. It's just incredibly stressful. At least I've been sewing a bit.